we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
