you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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