I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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