I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
