everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
