i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Randomize
