Its about making memories worth repressing
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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