Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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