ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize