so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
