i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
