She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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