she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
