You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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