turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
