I was born with a shot glass in my hand
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
