I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
