office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
