And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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