Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
