So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
