he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Randomize
