Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
