I swear god or herbie drove my car home
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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