...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
