We're facebook friends in real life
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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