She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
