K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
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