How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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