the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Randomize
