i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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