then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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