Dual....:-)
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
