SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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