# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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