Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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