Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
