my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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