i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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