as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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