Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
