Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
