When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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