when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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