Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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