Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
