she woke up with a sticky ear
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
