I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
