She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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