He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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