he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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