she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
