real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
one two three fourrrrnication!
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
