Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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