they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
