My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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