It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
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